Language

If ever we are asked to name only one thing that links people together, we hope we will answer unanimously that it is language. Obviously we can name many others but we will find that each will in one way or the other be facilitated by language. Culture, nationalistic fervor, political direction, anything we can think of will have to be communicated. Communication is language and vice versa. Linking the world together with language is a challenge because today there are officially (or at least considered to be) 6,909 distinct languages.

Of the total, and this is very interesting, Europe only has 230 different languages while 2,197 are spoken in Asia. Understandably because Europe is more contiguous than Asia where the former is usually separated by land borders and packed closer together while the latter is not only widespread there are many ocean borders and much longer historical separations. For example, land bridges during the ice age allowed for people to spread out on foot in the Tropical Zone, but once oceans rose to the level today, islands and island countries were created causing populations to be separated for hundreds of years. Language – prone to evolutionary changes – developed into ever distinct ones as to be entirely different from the original.

We are faced with the question: If the world must adopt only one language which should it be? English seems to be the front runner if there is ever a contest held today. English is my second language but I am an advocate to make it one for the world. There are many reasons why and I will get into it but first let me share below a few, often funny, pitfalls in translation in an effort by many non-native speakers to turn messages into English. Many of you have on a number of occasions run into instructions or passages in owner’s manuals that made you smile, laugh or squirm at reading them. I am not going to pick on Chinese to English translations but it is only natural because today we see more Made in China articles of everything from toys to apparels to tools but other countries of origin are just as susceptible to language mishaps. This is not to make fun of countries of origin but to highlight later at the end of this article the rationale for one global language. 

(Tap each photo to enlarge)

Many are funny, if not unintelligible, but there are those that are too deeply Zen-like.

   

     

Airport signs and notices are critical to foreign travelers. In an effort to be helpful the sign below does deliver the message clearly on one hand but manages to keep some information subject to wild speculation.

Meanwhile, let’s be clear about something. Hazardous materials are exactly that. Now, if you are the type that cannot resist ever touching anything … well, don’t let this other sign be the last warning you’ve ever read.

              

   

The Germans can be strictly ‘By the book” but I suspect they are simply bragging about this one; or Porsche with a V8 engine may indeed be that quick from zero to 100 mph.

You’ve likely read something similar (below) to this one. I’m not sure if this product was made in Russia or primarily targeted to the Russian market by an unidentified manufacturer that we are hard pressed to guess what the product actually is. It may also have some international appeal because there is another language instruction that appears to be in German, but if you only know English – well, good luck.

Below must be from a fancy modern hotel. The switches had to have been manufactured by a high tech company that we can reasonably expect to have some fairly knowledgeable translators in its employ. But “Please namely cleaning” violates English grammar in  every conceivable way.

Some manufacturers want to make sure people are actually reading their washing instructions.

    

Restaurant signs are notoriously known for mistakes in translations. Many can somehow be understood. But the two below cannot be salvaged, even if we try.

           

  

Below is where a little political correctness is in order.

        

The examples above are a tiny fragment in a vast collection from around the world and more are created every day. Meanwhile, the two biggest manufacturers of goods in Asia - namely South Korea and China - are sending a good number of their young students and workers abroad to learn or strengthen their English proficiency. English is being taught in schools in those two countries like no language had ever been so widely pursued in the past. Traditionally, in that part of the world, Australia and New Zealand are the only two English-speaking countries. Singapore, Hong Kong and the Philippines have it as the predominant second language. Australia and the Philippines are popular destinations for other Asian student/learners to get their English proficiency. The U.S. and England are much too far and too expensive.

Why English?

England would like to maintain that it speaks the language properly. To this day it even insists on spelling the words the English way. Take honour, tigre, organise – these are just a few examples that are red-lined by Microsoft Word when you type them that way.  This reminds me of the lament of Henry Higgins from “My Fair Lady” about English. 

 An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him.

The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him.

One common language I'm afraid we'll never get,

Oh, why can't the English learn to

set a good example to people whose

English is painful to your ears?

The Scots and the Irish leave you close to tears.

There even are places where English completely disappears.

In America, they haven't used it for years!

Despite all that we know how English had become the world’s efficient language. Commercial airline pilots and ships’ captains use English to bridge all languages. Languages have always evolved over eons of time. Some have become extinct, i.e. Latin and Sanskrit. English is at the pinnacle of the evolutionary path taken by many languages. English had become what it is today by becoming a successful survivor. Just as in the evolution of species in biology, English took on the finest attributes, or rather the attributes of words from other languages as in Latin, Greek and German, etc. and adopted them. Today English had borrowed words from Japanese, Chinese and many other languages that are now well entrenched parts of its lexicon. Even the Filipino word for “bundok” had become “boondocks” that American soldiers took so that one word explained what would have taken several words to explain. And new words are added every day as antiquated ones wither away. That is the secret of English. It took countless words from so many different languages to make word usage more efficient. Tsunami is not just a word to describe the phenomenon of rouge waves from underwater earthquakes but now as a deluge of anything from a tsunami of information, public outcry, etc. That is just one example of one word adopted to take the place of several words. Achilles Heel and Waterloo are words when used in analogies can mean a lot without having to use so many words. It even fashions verbs out of nouns to shorten a sentence. Of course, because English had borrowed so much from different languages, it may not be the easiest to master when it comes to learning idioms and even homonyms (words that sound the same but have different meanings). But it is still a very efficient language in my opinion.

Let me end with the last part of Henry Higgins commentary on English:

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

Norwegians learn Norwegian,

the Greeks are taught their Greek.

In France every Frenchman knows his language from "A" to "Zed"

The French never care what they do, actually, as long as they pronounce it properly.

Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning,

The Hebrews learn it backwards,

which is absolutely frightening.

But use proper English and you're regarded as a freak.

Why can't the English,

Why can't the English,

Learn To Speak?

Again, despite all that, English is likely going to be the world’s language someday, spoken or written, well or not.