Thursday, January 25, 2018

CHOICES, Choices, choices

The title line's symbolism, if you would indulge me, signifies the layering of decisions we make over a spectrum of choices in life or in the minutiae of a typical day. We get to do the life changing major CHOICES, the semi-important ones, and the ordinary, run-of-the-mill, "what beverage would you like with your meal" kind of choice. Whichever it is, it is something we have to do. That's just the way it is. We choose, we decline to make one, or someone will do it for us. Not making a choice, which is technically a choice in itself, could sometimes be more detrimental and often not without consequence.

We look back at our life, where ever we are today, or the lives of other people we either admire or despise and we find that our life and the lives of others are a summation of choices made or not taken. According to one character in a TV science fiction story, a person's life in the end is the sum total of countless choices made along the way by that person. We seem to take it for granted - how often we make decisions - but it is not like breathing out or breathing in. It may seem that way and when it gets to that point then we no longer have control over the outcome. Occasionally, we may find not making a choice seem like an innocuous way out, but it is not. We get used to it and then we wonder later why or how we lost control of our life.

Choices are what's laid out on the menu. A decision is tapping on one.  Choices are what's on the list written by my wife on the way to the grocery store but until she picked up the items, put into the cart, brought to the cashier and paid for them, she has not made a final decision. To execute is the action verb to a bunch of subject nouns. It is all wishful thinking when my wife summarizes her to do list for me, choices are what I get involved in when picking the item I like to do, but choosing is all it is until I do them. But do you know that there are 12 tenses for a verb. Wives are only interested in two of them - the simple past and the past perfect, which are: the husband did it or had done it. The other tenses like, he is presently doing it, or will have done it, or will have been doing it, etc. are not what interests her.  Your bosses at work or your commanding officer may not be too different. How many husbands do we know who refer to their wives as "boss". More compellingly is when the wives are not even within hearing distance.

Obviously, of far greater significance are the series of related decisions we do make over connected choices. Not all decisions are about choices but it is the latter that give us more control and consternation at the same time. The decision to buy a car when the old clunker broke down irreparably, leads to the straight forward decision to get another one. If it is a must to get a replacement (it could be that one decides to not get another at all), the decision is simply narrowed down to one.  That is not to say that it is easy because the ability to pay for one  may not be entirely a given. Granted you have the fortune to afford one leads to the choice of whether to buy one outright, or to lease it. To buy one, leads to - should it be a used one, or a new one? To buy a new one leads to more choices. Which kind, which brand, color, etc.The choices widen first before narrowing down, which is the object of the whole thing. The amount of time involved in the process with one person making the decision can be manageable but introduce a second one or a third and the whole process can be a permutation towards paralysis in extreme cases.

The above paragraph was just to illustrate that life is a matrix. However, there is a difference. In mathematics permutation matrices are a tool to test certain paths. In life sometimes choices picked may not be reversible. Getting married is one. Some may believe that a divorce reverses it but it is not so. During the whole process and completion of a divorce, neither partner is the same person any more and the circumstances before the marriage can never be brought back. Even in cases where both sides believe that divorce is the only choice, the idea or goal that things will get better are the direst of all wishful thinking.

When Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower made that decision to launch the Normandy invasion on June 6, 1944, it was one that change the direction of civilization. There had been many other examples in the past and many more after that but let's just stay with this one. The decision to free Europe was already a done deal. There was no question it had to be done. The general and his staff went through the agonizing decision from the choices of where to make the first landing, how and when. But it was the general's alone when he picked June 6, 1944. He took it as his alone that he prepared a short hand written note in his pocket that he was prepared to read in public if the invasion failed. He was prepared to own up to the failure if it did turn out to be so.  But what prepared him for that? First of all, how critical was it that he was picked to be the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces during the crucial period of the war.

What led to that day began on October 14, 1890 in a small town of Denison, TX. His religious parents of Dutch ancestry moved to Kansas where young Eisenhower chose to be a diligent, though not superbly brilliant, student. But it was good enough to get him to West Point. He chose to be a career military man. He chose not to be the pumped up, eager, combat-seeker of a soldier but one who excelled at organization (a mostly unnoticeable career path but one that was crucial to the invasion). Along the way, his commanding officers relied on his deep dedication to organization and an uncanny ability to administer.  Gen.Douglas MacArthur picked him as his aide while in the Philippines. At one time, MacArthur may or may not have declared condescendingly that Eisenhower was the best clerk who ever served him. That is where Eisenhower's choice to be a thorough organizer that led up to him commanding the Allied Forces that freed Europe. As we can see that man's life was a string of almost providential choices. 

Our individual humble lives are no different. Very few of us can claim that we did not have choices. In some cases we may have had very limited choices because of positions or status of our families. Poverty is always limiting, physical disabilities or where we happen to live, were some of the myriad restrictions. But we always hear of countless individuals who chose not to be limited or discouraged and prevailed in the end. Given the same number of choices, the same limited opportunities, it was always those among us who chose wisely who succeeded. Character building was all about choosing hard work over the easy path. A moral compass is not about taking the direction of easy choices but taking the path that were hardest to travel. The sum total of all the choices made by each is what defines the individual.

That is all and good but what about those who may already are on the wrong path. They may face the predicament of irreversibility but that is not to say that they cannot change direction. Second chances are exactly the patch one needs to repair a wrongly plotted journey. We must never forget that for as long as there are choices laid out the chances to make corrections are always there, regardless of where one is today.

The man on a wheelchair today has a life just as meaningful as an able-bodied person. Franklin D. Roosevelt attested to that and Stephen Hawking continues to prove it today. That is because both made a choice to overcome rather than engage in self pity or the commiseration of other people. They've had their share of dealing with CHOICES, Choices, and choices, the same way each of us had and are expected to continue making for as long we live.   








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