Celebrating the Death Anniversary of Common Sense

September, 2019 was when I wrote the "Eulogy for Common Sense". I penned the first paragraph that went:

"Common sense had already sustained a thousand blows and lacerations.  It is time for its last rites and its eventual funeral. The long battle it endured lasted for at least a generation  now.  Its many attempts to fight back was akin to stopping the ebbing of a one-way tide that  had been receding for decades now and leaving behind a drying sand - now almost devoid of a living thought. Its last line of defense - critical thinking - is crumbling and quickly giving way to a horde that can only be described as capable of doing nothing but engaging in "groupthink" (from George Orwell's book, '1984'). If common sense is on life support it is now a matter for society in particular and for all of civilization in general to pull the plug. Yes, we can pray for a miracle but prayer is now  another collateral casualty."

Not long after that, common sense passed away.

Today, we remember its death anniversary months ahead of September, which by then would be merely a little over a month when perhaps this nation has a chance at some kind of resurrection, if that is possible, but it may take a miracle.  Indeed, it will.

It was quite daunting then,

"Common sense is dying from small blows and often lacerated with very little blood. It is now punch drunk from a jab here, a jab there, and body punches that merely stagger the senses without really causing a knockout, not even  a knockdown. Common sense has not gone down for the count. At least, not yet. But it has already had recurring standing counts. And that is worse than being counted out entirely. It is a pitiful sight".

But, it never recovered.  Much of what we can do today, anniversary or not, is open our eyes to the aftermath.  It is not a pretty picture.  It is as if the world has turned into The Twilight Zone, or ruled by Bizarro, who is the flawed duplicate of Superman now dead.  The previous sentence would be bizarre indeed if it was written a generation ago.

However, here we are.  We've written new words, or old words now mean differently.  What used to be moral is now immoral.  What used to be immoral is now moral.  When it used to be the proper and legal way to come by invitation only, to enjoy the privileges afforded by a generous nation, one may now just enter without permission and all legal terms that prohibit it had been put asunder.  Words evolved so that a person entering this great country went from an illegal alien to undocumented person to now dramatically become a "newcomer".

Almost five decades ago,  ten years  after my wife first applied for an invitation to become a resident of this country, we were summoned to the U.S. Embassy in Manila for an interview. Along with all the identification papers that proved who we were, we had with us a resume detailing our work experiences and educational background that was reviewed by, at that time, the vice-consul.  Once approved we were to have a physical exam that included submitting our Xray results to prove we did not have tuberculosis. 

But in a Bizarro world, even during Covid 19 when citizens of this country had with them their vaccination cards, when entering a bank wearing a mask used to alarm everyone, was now perfectly all right, none of those were required of the "newcomer".  Where homelessness was part of the big city landscape, the newcomers were housed in hotels and provided food at taxpayers' dime. 

Speaking of taxpayers' dime, what periphery of Common Sense makes it all right to forgive student loans for those who pledged to borrow money on a promise to pay it back but now it's never mind?  Won't those who did not go to college, worked after high school and paid their taxes during all that time, not mind?  What about those who already paid their loans at great sacrifices; won't they mind too?  Or, is this mainly one crazy idea of buying votes on the taxpayer's dime?  It is an election cycle after all. It is unlawful to buy votes when it is coming from the candidate's own pocket or campaign funds but it is all right if one uses taxpayers' money.  Common Sense will have a hard time resurrecting itself.

Collateral casualty to the demise of Common Sense is the subjugation of the meaning of words.  The word equity was a financial or business bystander.  Anyone who deposited a hundred dollars expects the same equitable amount of interest as everyone who deposited a hundred dollars. Today, it has been hijacked to mean that someone who deposited fifty dollars may expect to get the same interest dividend as those who put in a hundred dollars.  That is what is happening.  Where it used to be equal opportunity to anyone who seeks it, but that it was given that equal results were never guaranteed,  the government is now faced with the proposition that results should be equal for all.

Five years ago I wrote, "In Awe of Climate", Sept. 4, 2019, during a Climate Town Hall meeting. It and almost all the next get together and discussions to follow will be pivotal in one particular way. One of these candidates could conceivably shape the critical agenda for running the next government in case the present administration is voted out of office. It shall be a huge switch in policy because as one of the candidates said last night, "Every Policy Should Be Informed by Climate Change."  

Sure enough, climate change is dictating or influencing  how the present government is conducting its business today with full endorsement from the press, aka mainstream media.  Just as an example, one daytime talk show host had a "totally out of ('body') Common Sense experience" when she blamed the New Jersey earthquake and the solar eclipse to climate change.  She's a lawyer but should we excuse her for missing a couple of high school science classes?

What some people considered what may have started as a joke is now a raucous point of contention in the realm of sports. You see, it may have started out this way.  A male swimmer who couldn't make it to the men's swim team one day thought, "Hmm, why don't I identify myself as female and compete in women's swimming? I bet I'll dominate the league". And he/she did! At one of the events he/she beat the next female swimmer by 38 seconds. If he/she elected to, he/she could have come out of the pool, toweled off and would have been dry before the next female competitor finished.  Common Sense had no chance at resurrection.

The National Organization for Women (NOW) used to be a serious and potent defender of women.  They were silent for a long time while all of these were going on.  Then they came out recently to say that they support biological male who now identify as female as eligible to compete in women's sports. Their support is solidly encapsulated by the statement that NOW just released, "Trans women are women".  They are serious but the joke's on them, it seems.

In all seriousness, how many biological females who identify as males ever competed in men's sports? None.  There was one exemption of a female's superiority over men, sort of, but it can only be found in Greek mythology.

When Atalanta was born, her father who wanted a son abandoned her and left to die in the forest.  She was rescued by a she-bear that nurtured her to become a powerful huntress.  She became famous when she outran everybody in foot races, including men.  Her father showed up after that and reclaimed her as his daughter.  Then one day he declared that Atalanta should get married.  Atalanta agreed but only to a man who can outrun her in a footrace.  

Enter Hippomenes, the most able competitor, although he kind of knew he can't beat Atalanta. Hippomenes sought the help of Aphrodite (goddess of love).  Aphrodite agreed because she didn't like that Atalanta did not seem to subscribe to the idea of love.  Aphrodite gave Hippomenes three golden apples and instructed him to throw one apple at a time in front of Atalanta during the race.  Sure enough Atalanta stopped each time to pick up every time the golden apple was thrown.  Hippomenes won the race.

Even then, that was the only time that a female could have beaten a man in a race but lost due to one clever subterfuge.  In mythology, at that.  Anyway, as far as I can tell Atalanta and Hippomenes lived happily ever after; despite the deception. Atalanta didn't seem to hold it against Hippomenes.  Now, keep in mind it was a myth.  Today, the truth is biological men in sports will outcompete every woman. That is not a myth. 

Takeaways from the story: Now, we have the word aphrodisiac in the English language.  The USA's busiest airport where running is almost always required to catch your connecting flight is named after a politician's daughter when the railroad junction  later became a town, then a city.  The daughter's name was Atalanta but somehow the extra 'a" was dropped to give us Atlanta, GA and the Atlanta Airport. But somehow, Atlanta is not famous for apples but for peaches. 

There I got carried away with the story.  However, I hope there was enough there to get the reader  to start his or her share of helping resurrect Common Sense from the deep abyss where critical thinking is also buried in limbo. But the reader knows where I'm coming from.  Unfortunately, we don't know where this will lead the world into. We must try to maneuver out of this. The death anniversary of Common Sense must be in our minds if only to keep alive the possibility of a reincarnation.  Perhaps, the reincarnated soul of Common Sense will be upon the land once more and restore our faith that order may once again rule over chaos.  

  

WHY, The Rainbow?

In a savannah somewhere, some two hundred thousand years ago, after a rainstorm as the sun begun to peek out of the horizon, and the curtain of dark clouds parted, there was a rustling of wet tall grasses as a handful of creatures begun to trudge for an open space to marvel at what was in the sky as the rain turned into nothing more than wispy waves of light drizzle that wafted in the slight cool breeze of the morning.  Those creatures were our early ancestors, now able to stand on their hind legs, free to use their hands as shade over their brows for a better look. They must have wondered loudly among themselves, perhaps in their own guttural ways, "What is that? Why? {That's all my  imagination since I wasn't there}.  But we were them, in a way - since their DNA, after countless  cell divisions over eons of adaptation and survival, are in us.

Many generations later when at last they had discovered the power of speech, to know what to call the things they saw, they still marveled every time they looked up at the sky to ask what was then and still today a profound question that even we might be hard pressed to answer, "Why, the rainbow?"  Our ancestors did not really have in their minds seeking answers to a scientific question. We too will find that dark clouds and rainbows may have more to do with our personal lives we yet have to discover.  More profoundly than you had ever imagined.

Two hundred thousand plus years later in 1672, Isaac Newton established his first foothold into the early stages of physics.  Before his famous three laws of motion and many other significant crucial contributions to science, he wrote a paper on optics that proved that ordinary light was composed of several colors - different spectra of various wavelengths by splitting a light beam with a simple glass prism.  People then wondered, "How can ordinary, seemingly transparent light be made up of so many colors?"  Again, there was more beyond a scientific answer.

Let's go even way further back in time.  From the beginning.  We have nowhere else to refer to but what had been written about where and how everything begun. Let's look at one written text which, by the way, has similar versions from various  proponents of other faith-based systems. Let's take one from the Old Testament. 

When the Creator in Genesis 1:3  proclaimed, "Let there be light", we now know it was more than to illuminate the cosmos but that it ushered the greatest gift endowed to all living things - the sense of sight. 

Now we know even more when the Hubble Space Telescope and the James Webb Space Telescope enabled us to see for the first time the magnificently infinite grandeur of the universe.  The significance of, "let there be light" is that it came by the third verse just after verse, 1:2, ...The earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters".  

Once more, we put aside the scientific answers because life is like a box of dark clouds and rainbows (a mild reference to Forrest Gump's famous quote).  We oftentimes don't know what's up above when we look up.

And so it was then and now that we realize that our personal life experiences are sometimes touched by some dark moments, hopefully not too frequently. Then, hopefully and more frequently each time, the dark clouds are soon parted and rainbows appear.  Life, we know by now, is a seesaw of moments that range from the annoying to heart rending predicaments only to switch to unexpected ecstasy beyond even our wildest wishes. Of course, we know that our appreciation for the good, sometimes even great, moments is possible only because we have seen and felt what it was like to be under some dark clouds that at times appear to hover over our heads longer than we can bear. 

These dark clouds come in many shades.  Worrying is a gray cloud.  It's darker when we get sick or a loved one is chronically ailing.  It is darkest at a time of grief. It is a different kind of dark when one is despondent from a failed relationship or loss of livelihood.  Now we know that dark comes  from the thin gray of worry to the pitch blackness of a seemingly bottomless pit when things did go wrong.  So many shades of darkness for any of us to fully prepare for one  or another that could engulf our lives.

I guess that is why a rainbow too comes in different colors.  That has to be the reason.  Not only did the Creator proclaim, "Let there be light", but that light came complete with a full spectrum of several colors, including those our eyes cannot see - from the infrared to ultraviolet rays.  Yet, it is just as miraculous that vipers, pigeons and bees and many other species of living things are able to see those that are hidden from our sight.  There is also a reason for that. Only the Creator can know what it is.

And then we are told also to know this. Not every adversity is a dark cloud, not every rainbow we imagine should be sought because sometimes our choices to seek and go after every rainbow are not the answer when not every problem is a dark cloud. Not every challenge is a catastrophe. Darkness is always temporary. It may often leave on its own or be pushed out by the approaching dawn. It is best to know that not every dark cloud needs a rainbow.

Make note of this.  Sometimes we could be looking for a rainbow we do not need over a dark cloud we only imagine.  That is one unnecessary burden we choose to carry  that is easily resolved.  We should set it down, untie the straps from our shoulders, get rid of the load, and soon we see that letting go is like parting the dark clouds; the freedom from want is all the rainbow we needed.  Young children of nomads in the upper Mongolia or inhabitants in the interior of the Amazon rainforests and from many remote places have one thing in common. They do not know to want more than they have, they do not know to seek for rainbows they do not need. 

Meanwhile, in the developed world life gets a little more complicated.  If it isn't, we try to make it so, anyway.  Sometimes we self-impose our own dark clouds, others make it a cottage industry  to turn thinnish gray clouds into a gathering storm. Rainbow "wants" somehow become a must (of "needs") to quell an imagined dark cloud even when we are already basking in and enjoying the weather in our already good life.

On the other hand, we have another perspective to rely on when our days get too dark, a Biblical passage once more, a quote, again from where and when it all begun in Genesis:

"Genesis 9:13-16

 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds,

15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life".

Take this for what it is, or treat it as an allegory but it is a hopeful message when dark clouds hover above and be reminded that there is a rainbow when you need it.

 

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, .."

We owe that unforgettable opening from Charles Dickens' "Tale Of Two Cities" which still resonates today as it had for all times past. We can expect the same for what awaits us in our future. Whether it is looking at our personal lives or that of the world around us, "the best of times and the worst of times" seem to come in equal or unequal doses. Of course, it is everybody's wish that we go through more best times than worst in our journey through life. Often, however, there is also this idea of whether one views a glass as half empty or half full.  There is no easy way to address the question, let alone use a broad brush to answer it.  Best we can do is look through different filters to address a few of them.

1. Lifespan vs. Health Span

Today, on average we are living longer through the filter of statistics. The U.S., which has kept good records show that in 1900 the average life expectancy for white men was 46.6 years, women by about two years longer.  By 2000, white men's lifespan went up to 74.4 years, while white women's went up to 79.9 years.  Minorities lagged behind but their lifespans increased as well over the same period.  World population, also on average, increased considerably.  Several countries are  actually outpacing the U.S. but third world averages are way below.

One may say, based on lifespan alone, that today we are living in "the best of times". However, we are told to recognize another measure. Along with how long our life expectancy rises, we must be cognizant of how well we are living, physiologically that is, and perhaps even emotionally, thus the term was coined,  "health span". In the early 1900s, the number one cause of death was heart attack, or more commonly, heart failure (or HF).  It still is today. However, survivors of the first incidence of HF do better now than a decade or so ago.  Modern medicine, lifestyle changes that include diet and exercise are the reasons. 

So, can we then say that lifespan and health span are what would make a glass full? On average, we can say that that full glass is what we call being 21 years old. By forty, we can only hope that from then on  a full glass would have a reasonable mix, albeit in slightly reduced strength or diluted solution of both, but still in about equal doses.  You and I would wish that to be consistently true, but then again our best times and worst of times will differ.  

2. At The Right Place, At The Right Time

Physicists would fondly call that being at the sweet spot of spacetime. You see, everyone can relate his or her good fortune by being at a favorable point anywhere at some fortuitous time. By way of example, let me relate just one particular story that would explain the heading above.

Over two years ago we hired a cleaning lady to help out for one day a week.  Hiring her was timely because shortly thereafter my wife was diagnosed with Parkinson's.  The lady was recommended by a friend.  She speaks little English but her husband and two children (who were born here) do. Soon she became like a family member who is with us every Saturday. We serve her breakfast when she arrives in the morning before she starts her chores and she joins us for lunch (typically home-cooked) and she gets to take home the leftover.  She is very thorough with her job - from helping with laundry, changing the bed's linens and, of course, the general house cleaning.

A year ago, she had a stroke.  Fortunately, she was at home with her daughter.  The response to the 911 call was quick and she was at the hospital in time for doctors to get her the immediate and proper attention. For the next 3-4 months she struggled with her balance and movement and she slurred her speech. Miraculously, she recovered in less than five months.  She regained her normal movements and shortly after, her slurred speech was gone. After another month she came back to resume her work with us.  Her daughter took a leave from her job and did the driving for her and to help her with the chore.  Later, she was driving by herself though her daughter still came with her for a bit more.  Today, it is as if she didn't have the stroke; except, of course, that she has a regimen of medicine and regular check ups.  Several months ago she ran a part of a marathon for three miles.

She is the first to admit that had this happened in Mexico where she is from where medical emergency care was inadequately timely and the nearest hospital was an hour away, she would simply have become a statistical number to succumb to stroke. 

Unlike the millions from many areas around the world with less than ideal emergency and follow up health care, from the right medicines to post illness therapy, she was at the right place, at the right time. There are innumerable stories like hers all around the world if we care to look and listen.

3. Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold

It is otherwise known as the Goldilocks zone of where earth is, relative to its location from the sun.  Venus is much too hot while Mars is way too cold. Only on earth among all the other planets that orbit the sun where water exists as a liquid naturally.  Life as we know it emerged and continues to thrive in an environment that is just right - not too hot, not too cold.

However, this Goldilocks zone is not the proverbial "Garden of Eden' all throughout every region and not consistently unchanged throughout history, from epoch to epoch.  It had gone through at least five ice ages followed by global warming over thousands of years to complete each time.  The reason: (a) The sun (one million times the size of earth) that is the source of 99.999 per cent of the heat and 100% of the gravitational force that holds the entire solar system disburses its energy irregularly at times.  It goes through tantrums as it travels through its orbit around its own master - the Milky Way galaxy that has at least two hundred billion other suns. (b) Earth's orbit around the sun is not a perfect circle. It is slightly an ellipse, thus its distance from the sun varies from slightly closer to farther away over each revolution. 

We are who we are today along with all living things because we managed to evolve to survive the many changes in our environment over long periods of adaptation. The unrelenting climate changes all organisms went through made us look different from others - for example, darker skin protected those close to the equator from the sun's damaging rays, paler skin for those closer to the poles to help absorb vitamin D from the sun; and all shades of skin color in between the equatorial and polar regions.

All throughout earth's history its inhabitants had gone through innumerable "best of times, worst of times" but here we are today - the survivors of an ever changing environment, yet life prevailed because of its indomitable ability to adapt.

4. Wars, Rumors of War And Hopes For Peace

"The history of mankind seems to be the history of war", is a quote I ran across that I cannot recall who it was attributed to for its origin.  But clearly we are used to seeing history being written predominantly by the victors of war(s).  Often, these conflicts throughout our history are romanticized where heroism and the struggles to victories, war after war, were immortalized and celebrated. Historians subdivide histories in terms of eras and changing empires along their rise and fall, despite an unchanging geographical landscape, except for the constant changes of one empire emerging after another.  Where we are today is merely a more recent makeup of where power resides but it is still the same round globe.

There is no such thing as a minor war because to those involved who perished in it, suffered from it, even for those who survived it, any war is a major war. We identify two great wars of WWI and WWII but there has not been a generation (or 25 years) in recorded history when there was no war someplace, somewhere. Between 1914 and 1939 was a mere 25 years between the start of each world war.

So, we have historians who write about wars, and there are prophets who predict upcoming wars. Neither historians nor prophets should be ignored but one thing we clearly do not do is learn from either.

For those who do not subscribe to or adhere to any kind of religious faith, you may treat the quote below not as a Biblical text but merely as a fair statement by someone watching or reading geopolitical news or analysis of the present time, instead of from several centuries or so ago, and note that only today is it possible that the world will know "of wars and rumors of wars" with the instantaneity of the internet and mass media.  At the time the original  text was written it would have been impossible for rumors of wars to spread quickly when texts were written and read  in scrolls; nor would they be conveyed speedily even on horseback as world population was a small fraction of what it is today. 

Matthew 24:6, From the New Testament, KJV

"And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet".

The worst of times will far exceed what will follow the rumors of war but only now since the last two great wars that a quarter of the earth's population is predicted to perish from the Four Horsemen who symbolize territorial conflict and attempts to conquer with an intensity only possible with modern weapons of war (not to exclude nuclear), worldwide famine, diseases (Covid 19 a mere preview) and death and suffering.

The good news is that peace shall come after the worst of times to be followed by the best of times.  

The reader is urged to take this for what it is worth - a commentary, but clearly no one can claim with certainty of its occurrence at a specific time and date but the trajectory is unassailable because the history of man is a history of conflict that only a supernatural intervention can assuage.

The Caregivers: The Other Side of Illness

Doctors, nurses, therapists, and all those serving in every medical and recuperative facility are all caregivers.  What they do cannot be minimized.  The significance of their roles in health care and health management serves a far greater impact in today's society despite  and apart from what technology has done to modern medicine. Having said that, it is also worth as much to say that there is one area of caregiving that is not part of the regular conversation but is becoming more and more common as the percentage of the aging population and long term survival ratios from serious ailments are increasing.  

While nursing homes and other iterations of assisted living are now integral to societies in the "First World" countries (a rarity, if non-existent, in "Third World" societies),  there is a statistical, perhaps a noticeable phenomenon of more and more folks electing to remain at their own homes. This is looking through the lens or prism that  has to do with caregiving  that involves a family member towards another who has  medical or health issues living at home.  It does not matter what kind of health problem is involved, the family member/s who take/s up the role of caregiver in the day-to-day activity within that household is what I refer to as the other side of illness.

Just last week my wife and I were in the waiting room in one area of the hospital where they do specialty scanning and other radiology testing (including the somewhat ominous sounding section - "nuclear medicine").  The DAtscan procedure that my wife was going to have was for thirty minutes but the total time we were scheduled to spend there overall was for four to five hours. There was one hour of wait time after she had a full glass of water, before a radioactive tracer can be injected intravenously. Then we had to wait for three more hours before the actual brain scan which takes about another half hour.

In the first hour of wait time another couple came in.  The wife was the patient but we at first couldn't tell  by her cheery demeanor and a smiling face as she talked.  She was scheduled for a series of tests. After a few more minutes, a mother and daughter came in. Naturally, conversation in a small confined area took on its humanly natural  spontaneous course.

The older couple - I say older but I surmised we were about their age once they revealed they had been married for 53 years!; they in 1970; my wife and I in 1971 - were the epitome, just like my wife and me, of a growing number of couples living at the same home long after it had become the proverbial "empty nest".  

The mother and daughter had a profoundly sadder story in caregiving. The daughter who has had cystic fibrosis since childhood just graduated from high school via homeschooling. Deeply heartbreaking was that the mother herself - the caregiver - was  diagnosed with muscular dystrophy (MS) not too long ago.  Needless to say, the mother intimated, both of them are frequent visitors to the diagnostic wing of the hospital. In her own words, "we know the drill" as they were ushered in and out by one technician or another to go from one test to the next.  Every time they were back at the waiting room the poor daughter would just lie down and take a nap on the couch, only to be awakened again for the next test.  One can't help but feel  for both of them. But anyone who sees them go through it will have to  be in awe of the mother.  She worries, of course, about what it would be like once MS takes its toll on her.  Her faith, she said, was what kept her going.  She is the caregiver who sooner or later will need one herself once  MS takes its inevitable progressive stage. 

Every Friday from 10-11 a.m. at the local  Baptist church I take my wife to a group exercise that is designed for those with Parkinson's under the auspices of the Houston Area Parkinson's Society (HAPS).  There's about a dozen or so who attend; naturally, each is at different stages of Parkinson's and at varying ages.  About half are men, although  men with Parkinson's outnumber women by 2:1 in the general population. A physical therapist leads the chair-bound exercises although standing up and down is part of the routine. 

Every third Friday of the month, in the adjoining room, there is a support group meeting for the caregivers while the patients are doing their exercises.  

As in every support group meeting, the seats are arranged in a circle. The moderator sits in one of the chairs and we all can see and hear everybody.  This was my first time attending. Every caregiver was a spouse - six husbands and six wives (in this particular session). 

One husband came even though his wife was not there for the exercise because their daughter took her to attend another family member's social function.  He obviously did not want to miss the support group meeting and I think I understood why from a one-on-one conversation with him later after the session was over.  He found solace and comfort from the other caregivers like him - he sort of said that much - and perhaps he simply needed a break.

In cases  when the caregiver is dealing with a significant other who has dementia or Alzheimer and other cognitive difficulties, the  emotional and stressful complexities take their toll.  It is so much tougher for the caregiver once what used to be a vibrant, conversation-filled relationship is no longer there while the afflicted partner may not be completely aware of what is going on to be emotionally or cognitively connected.

One caregiver husband is 87 years old whose wife is wheelchair-bound from a progressively advanced Parkinson's. In one of our conversations, he recalled that his friends back in the early stages of his marriage teased him about marrying someone quite a bit younger than him, a nurse at that, ensuring himself of a caregiver in his old age. Instead he became  the caregiver from the day his wife was afflicted with Parkinson's from nine years ago. At 87,  is he not one likely to have a caregiver himself soon?  Such is another side of caregiving.

It is heartening that we see couples remaining in their homes, managing and coping as best they can. But it was heartbreaking to hear one of the wives talk, "Now, I find myself the one talking to service men, repair people and handymen who come to fix things in the house.  It used to be that all I ever did with the car was put gas in it, drive and park it. Now, I'm the one talking to the mechanics and always worried about its maintenance. I am not just the primary, I am the only driver in our household".

There are obviously many more stories about caregiving, extraordinary sacrifices and the inevitable phenomenon of so called role reversals. Role reversal as in the example from the previous paragraph is also one circumstance seen where and when the children take on the role of caregiver to aging or ailing parent/s.  Usually, this role is that of a daughter taking care of a parent; but daughters do not have a statistical monopoly of that role because sons are known to assume what is now referred to as reverse parenting. The challenges associated with role reversal are not so much about taking the parent to the doctors, making sure they are taking their medication or for them to be eating properly and on time, but dealing with the emotional conflicts that accompany "parenting in reverse".

Most common in role reversal is that of simply taking on what used to be the other spouse's role.  Again, as exemplified in the paragraph earlier, there are challenges.  Obviously, not only can we not cover everything on the subject, we cannot reasonably find one common rule to apply because each situation is different from the next. There is not one particular way anyone can claim will work in one situation to apply universally.

In caregiving within a household, the greatest need is of course that of the afflicted.  That is what gives caregiving its nobility of purpose. And it is  through the caregiver's embrace of the responsibility and dedication that allows for that nobility to endure.

Why it works cannot be explained in words.  It is the summation of a shared life from the moment both promised each other, "for in sickness and in health", however many years ago that was.  Below is a quote where I end this musing.

"Love is an action, but it is also a choice.  Loving another sometimes means laying down the self and choosing the needs of another. When the rubber hits the road so to speak, it is then that these vows matter most".

----- Michele Treacy

What of my own personal perspectives, or views through the prism and lenses of my experiences?  Regular readers have had a glimpse. These  are in the Archive: 

{Parkinson And  "The Other Side of Day" 12/19/2022;  "The Other Side Of Morning" 12/28/2022;  Through The Eyes See You 07/11/2023; "For Kindness Begins Where Necessity Ends" 02/04/2022;}

What of those living alone?  {The Vigil of the Lonely  07/24/2021}

 

Of Our Thoughts, Cats, Cobras and Chopsticks

We think because we can. We all do. But what about the other living organisms? Elephants, lions, wolves, hyenas; they must, don't they?  Closest relatives to us - gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, what about them?

Cats.  They spend a lot of time napping and often when they're awake, they can be seen motionless staring at something, or are they pondering? Here is one of their favorites.  More like a ponderous daydream for a cat.

"A German shepherd, a Doberman and a cat die and go to heaven.  They are greeted by God, who asks each of them what they believe in.  The German shepherd goes first. 'Discipline, training and loyalty to my master', he says.  Good, you may sit on my right.  Now, Doberman, what do you believe in?' The Doberman answers, 'Love, care and protect my master'. 'Excellent', says God. 'You may sit on my left.  Now, cat, it's your turn. What do you believe in?'

The cat replies, 'I believe you are sitting in my seat'."

        --- This was submitted by Merry Pruitt of Columbus, OH (to a nationally syndicated magazine) 

A regular cobra pondered this.  It is wondering why a close relative - a spitting cobra - would resort to spitting its venom when it is prone to spray  wildly, especially on a breezy day.  Why not just sink its fangs and deliver the venom like all self-respecting cobras do?  But  the regular cobra's greatest peeve is why a rattle snake would make such a racket if it has every intention to strike. 

California condors had been waiting for sometime, having spent countless hours looking for carrion or for some other creature to die.  One thought loudly for everyone at the condo to hear, "I can't stand all this waiting. I think I will have to kill something." {Wait, a condo refers to a group of condors in general; for California, it should be a scarcity of California condors; the proper grouping of them.  By the way, a group of crows are called a murder of crows. I wonder what those poor black birds think about that}

So, yes, our animal friends do think and they ponder.

But we are the best thinkers.  We could be the worst too but we will skip those in this musing.

Whoever thought of spoons and forks deserves a lot of credit.  What could be better than that?  I mean, that's about as close as we can get to what directly affects the very idea of existence.  If we must eat to live, to continue to exist, we might as well come up with the best apparatus for consuming food.

"Now, wait, wait, just a minute!", I just heard a loud protest from almost two billion people. Oh, yes, indeed, how can we ignore them and the chopstick?

From China of about 1.4 billion folks, to Vietnam to Thailand to Japan and several other countries in between, the protest can be hugely in favor of the chopstick.

Of course, there are still places where eating with one's fingers are acceptable norms either out of necessity or as dictated by traditional culture.  And, while spoon and fork etiquette is commonplace, there was a time when chopstick etiquette was strictly prescribed and adhered to both in China and Japan.

The evolution of human thought can be traced along many paths in our development except for one inexplicable phenomenon set by the use of eating utensils.  You see, spoons and forks typically require the use of both hands, although one hand may do so by simply using either spoon or fork; on the other hand (no pun intended), chopsticks that come in pairs require using one and only one hand. But the latter requires the dexterity of a violinist's one hand (the one that is on the fingerboard).  Handling or gripping the chopsticks have their own peculiar differences now classified by convention.  Counterclockwise from the top left, they are known as the (1) Vulcan; (2) Chicken claws; (3) Dangling stick; (4) Scissorhands 

 

Chopsticks therefore allow eating with one hand.  But what about when soup is on the menu? A European might ask.  The direct mouth to bowl, or bowl to mouth is not only allowed, it is highly recommended.  A steaming bowl stimulates three senses at once - the sense of smell from a steaming aroma, taste and the warmth or heat of a bowl of soup that enhances the slurping experience. Slurping is by the way not frowned upon for it is an indicator of approval because bad tasting food will not garner that kind of enthusiasm, a cultural truism in parts of the world.

As an homage to Chopsticks, a few years back I actually did a woodworking project by making my own with a stand. 

I use it sparingly but practiced a lot to where I can pick up a single green pea with ease.  Chopsticks make a good exercise for dexterity and hand eye coordination.

Now, we must not forget that eating utensils must have come only after we started cooking our food. We owe it all to the first moment when our ancestors first discovered to make fire at will. Kudos among our first ancestors for thinking about cooking the first ever food.  Would you know it was by accident?  At least according to a story I concocted seven years ago (12/07/2016, "Of Mice and Lo Mein", my apologies to John Steinbeck).

"..So when Grog and his tribe were dining mainly on raw meat, leaves and berries, their average IQs for millions of years remained at barely above cave temperature until one day Grog came upon an aurochs (believed the ancestor of the modern cattle) that was struck by lightning.  It was still smoldering where a nearby bush was still burning. Grog stumbled upon the very first barbecue and warmth from fire, soon followed by an exponential growth in brain size and power (better nutrition?).  The rest is history.  I wasn’t there when it happened but an idle mind is awash with speculative imagination unfettered by evidence or fossil fragments".

A hundred thousand years or so later homo sapiens came up with the first eating utensils to deal with hot food items.

I had meant for this musing to have the title as in the first sentence above, "We Think Because We can", and make it a philosophical discussion.  But after the cat in heaven story, things fell apart that caused the original train of thought to go off the tracks - totally derailed!). But, hey, I got you to think about a thing or two, didn't I?  So, if indeed this made you think then it is because you can.

It is Always the Littlest of Things

Next time you are waiting in line at the grocery's checkout station make a note of the cashier's name tag (they almost always have it) and when it's your turn, greet him or her by their name, "Hi Alice", "Hi Todd".  9 out of 10, you will notice a change in their facial expression or they'll respond with a sudden happier look on their faces.  If they have a unique name, like Luzanda, or one spelled a little differently, as in Carlee or Kirbe (with an 'e" instead of a 'y' in a typical Carly or Kirby), let them know you noticed admiringly at the uniqueness.  Whether they started at their station just minutes ago or are in their fifth hour, chances are your greeting made a difference.

Often, it is the littlest thing in the world that often matters.  

I just learned that from someone years ago.  "You see",  someone told me, "there is no sweeter word in any language than a person's name, when he or she hears it said in a friendly, happy tone with a dose of sincere feeling attached to it".  In fact, hearing their name said by someone they don't know, a customer, who took the effort to greet them that way goes a long way to picking their spirits up.  That alone makes them realize you cared enough to greet them and say their name in a gleeful way.  And, you know what, it didn't cost you anything.  It was just one little thing.

Often, it is the littlest thing in the world that often matters.  

But, we should be mindful too about the trapdoor that little things can do. Do you know that 99% of the time a huge argument - to the point of yelling, cardiac inducing screams - almost always start  from one little thing?  Do you recall arguing over something that was merely about a subplot, not the main plot mind you, of a movie, or  how to load a dishwasher, or arguing over one purchased piece of merchandise hardly worth the price of one casual discussion, or even how to get to a place that both looked forward to go for a good meal?

Five years ago I wrote, "Anatomy of the Argument", a portion of it I quote below:

What perpetuates an argument lies in the eternal view that winning is paramount when, in fact, nobody really wins. The ecstasy of victory only lasts for a moment, a battle won is not worth the agony of regret. Below is a popular quote whose authorship or endorsement is no longer acknowledged by either man or woman. But it's truth remains.

"A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of another argument."

Please simulate dead silence for a moment because I share the only antidote known by man.

Thus, all I have to say now is "Yes Dear".

I recommend reading the  quick and short musing at:

https://abreloth.blogspot.com/2018/03/anatomy-of-argument.html

It's the littlest of things indeed that really matter.  No matter how huge you think your world is, or how we perceive our infinitely huge universe is, it is the little thing where everything begins.  Wealth begins and ends with a penny, every year starts and ends with a second. When we discovered that the atom was the smallest particle of matter, where atom is from Greek, "atomos" which means indivisible, we found it was made up of a nucleus and electrons around it.  Today, we know there are even smaller subatomic components that even electrons are made of.  Now, we know there are quarks, six of them with names like charm and strange, and recent theories say subatomic strings whose loop can only be imagined in eleven dimensions are even imaginarily smaller still.  Weirder still is that fundamental matter may exhibit wave-like properties.  All minutely little things.

Little things like taking the trash out  with no prior prompting from your wife or even emptying the clothes dryer or dishwasher is enough to melt a wife's tired heart after a long day's housekeeping.  This little thing speaks loudly to the husband's unspoken appreciation of his wife's often thankless job of keeping the household in order.  Did it cost a lot? No, it was nothing.

Likewise, one little thing a wife may do is remind him what it was that made her say yes in the first place.  Husbands are more sensitive to ego boosts and it costs little for a wife to, even if only once in a while, reinforce that coat of armor or polish it to shine if only for a bit at a time.  One little dose that cost so little.

Don't we know that a cup of water will put out a fire quickly and effectively when it starts but not after it is now the proverbial conflagration to each one's regret?  As always that big fire of an argument started as mere spark from nothing.  Don't we remember a time one peaceful afternoon or one quiet evening ruined by one silly argument?  Think back to every argument that spread like one wildfire between  two people that could have been prevented if in the beginning one of two took one step backward to say, "I'm sorry, we don't need to argue about this.  I'm here to listen to your side if you're willing to listen to mine as well".  Do you know that that is the one time a soft, almost monotone of a few words will be louder than a thunder clap, only perceptible through the heart?  It didn't cost much energy either.

But like everything, there is a flip side even for one little droplet or one leaky faucet.

One droplet may cause one little dripple. A hundred of it may fill a glass but trillions upon trillions of it may cause a flood. One leaky faucet is much easier to fix but it will fill a clogged sink in no time and ruin the kitchen or bathroom floor. Often, it is us who clog our mind when all it could have taken was to let one  drip of a comment go by.  Lest we forget it takes one tiny grain of sand under our eyelid to blur our vision or cause one irritating episode of discomfort and pain.

Let not our hearts be troubled by the littlest of things.  On the other hand, it is also the littlest of things we can do to unburden someone of one heavy load.  If we do that even if only from time to time, another person's day is made brighter no matter how gloomy the forecast is.

How We Remember, How We Forget is in The Hips

"The Hippocampus Hips and the Amygdala's Tres Amigos". It is a mouthful, and if you've only casually encountered this awkwardly put together jumble of words and recall it exactly in its entirety a day or two later, spelling and all, then you have an impeccable memory.  You may not need to read this any further. But, if you are one of a certain age, emphasis on age, then you may want to because every now and then you find yourself helplessly grasping to recall something that defies recollection no matter how hard you squint and grimace.  This makes a growing sector of the population fearfully dreadful of memory loss while advances in medicine have allowed for people to physically live longer. By the way, those jumbled words I put together were for a reason, that we will get into later.

The good news, an excellent one actually, is that not only is that recent studies show that however alarmingly frightful we've been led to believe, only 10% of 65 and older folks will develop dementia or Alzheimer's. More significantly, there are now  proven ways to improve memory effectively as we advance in age.

However, it is part of our aging reality  that forgetfulness is one inevitably acceptable part of growing old.  We accept it, but should we take that without a challenge, as if to simply agree and surrender?  "Accept", in this case, can arguably be defined as one defeatist attitude simply because we forget names so easily or where we last put our keys or wallet and why we sometimes go to the garage and we find ourselves standing there and realize we don't know what it was we were there to get  or do.  Or, we see a famous actor's face on TV that we know we used to know so well but can no longer recall his name.  And what about the so called "tip-of-the-tongue" phenomenon that exasperates us to no end until we make the recollection.  

Our brain is the single most powerful part of our anatomy if we are merely ranking magnitude of importance when it comes to function.  Let us not forget though that without it, existence is absolutely impossible.  People can go on living with missing limbs, one kidney or one lung, one eye, etc.  Artificial hearts, kidney and heart donor organs have prolonged countless lives, heart/lung machines can temporarily keep people alive, people can go on living through dialysis machines, and a few more other advances in medicine will someday allow more replacement organs possible.

Indeed, there are hopeful practical possibilities.  But a brain that is partially functioning or even temporarily affected as in a concussion or mental trauma is a critical anomaly.  Brain damage as generally defined is a serious normal life ending condition.

If we worry about forgetfulness we should first and above all be in awe of how and why we remember. Quickly, let's make one quick comparison. 

A supercomputer "Deep Blue" that beat a human chess champion (for the first time ever) was a roomful of high end CPUs (Central Processing Units) linked together into a powerful "thinking machine" that required a lot of electrical power and robust cooling system against  2-1/2 pounds of living tissue. All that Kasparov had to rely on was his experience as a chess player, what he had for lunch, some water and reserve energy in whatever body fat he had in store.  Deep Blue had the support of several technicians during the match and a chess program put together by several engineers, programmers and chess players who used volumes of references of matches played by human chess champions in the past - an artificial array of memory.

We need to go over that to show that our brain is no slouch when it comes to memory and computing power while at the same time do all the simultaneous orchestration of the functions of every body part that must all work together to sustain one complex physiology.  

We will not talk about the entire brain for that will be one gargantuan chore. Instead let's just focus on the two crucial components that are the repositories of how memories are created, sorted and recalled.

1. Hippocampus is from the Greek where "hippos" is horse, "kampos" for sea monster.  Early physiologists/anatomists saw, as in the photo below,  the hippocampus as looking like a seahorse.  Within the folds of the brain's temporal lobe is a seahorse-like tissue that is responsible for creating and retrieving declarative and spatial memories; or, simply put, remembering facts and events and routes, pathways and directions.  It is where we remember lines in a poem, dialogue in a movie, speeches, etc. and how we get back to our seats in a theatre after an intermission.

2. The Amygdala refers to two almond-like structures next to the hippocampus, so named because in Greek it means almond. They're tiny, relatively  smaller parts of the brain (the graphic below is exaggerated for emphasis).

 

The amygdala is responsible for storing and retrieving memories involved in processing emotions, behavior, emotional control and learning as parts of the brain's ability to empathize, react to fearful stimuli and control of our emotions. Unfortunately, the amygdala can also be responsible for obsessive thoughts, harbor uncontrolled and unexplained phobias, or engage in aberrant behavior, for example.  But without a doubt the amygdala pair is one powerful "computer chip" if we must relate our brain to a machine.

There is a long list of human mental powers, as in total recall, musical abilities to play an entire piano concerto from memory, or the conductor knowing exactly when the notes from a bassoon will be wafting above a field of swaying violas and violins in a 100-piece orchestra and ever always aware of every instrument's role  and so on and on,  but let's pick one other example.

When an NBA player makes a 3-point jump shot attempt, those two components of his brain enable him to leap from behind the 3-point line, make a correct orientation of where the  hoop is, be mindful of the defender wanting to block the shot, release the ball  with just the right trajectory and force from his fingertips and remember to land correctly back on the floor to avoid a twisted ankle and be ready to move again whether he made the shot or rush forward to recover a missed attempt. All of these happened within one second because the player's hippocampus and amygdala (H and A) learned, committed and processed to memory, practice after practice, to recall, adjust and execute the shot.

For us ordinary folks, what can we do to help our H's and A's make us better memory champions?  Maybe, not champions to the point of reciting the value of Pi to the nth digit . Ordinary folks can easily recite the value to four decimal points, as in 3.1416 - enough for 99.9 per cent in solving math problems. The world record today stands at 70,030 decimal digits. Why?  Because Suresh Kumar Sharma from India can.  Keep in mind this is just one example among countless others who exhibit extraordinary feats of memory.

Cliff Klaven, the much maligned, often derided character in an erstwhile, popular TV sitcom, "Cheers", was a U.S. Postal worker whose role at the bar almost always revolved around his mastery of trivia, deemed by his friends as useless facts. Truth be told, there is nothing so trivial about trivia if you are a "Jeopardy" contestant along with millions of fans of the  show around the world. I could be among those closet trivia fans although my reason for being one may be different from most.

Knowing, committing to memory, retrieving information as trivial as trivia is no different from lifting weights or running on a treadmill as in physical exercise.  Our muscles are indifferent or oblivious to whether we are only lifting weights or laying bricks, cutting timber with an ax or saw, just as our leg muscles are not aware if we are running in place or away from predators or going after prey.  They get exercised.  Our H and A are exercised whether we are doing a crossword puzzle, playing bridge, chess, or committing to memory useless digits of Pi after 3.14159 26535 89793..

Now, we are told that exercise, literally the physical one, is a memory booster. Studies have shown that seniors engaging in ballroom dancing or line dancing have helped in improving their memories.  If that is so, where cha-cha, Samba, Mambo, etc., are good for improving our memories, then I call these forms of exercises  as involving the "hippocampus hips". 

Any exercise that raises our heart rates and consequently blood flow to the brain helps in boosting memory retrievals and long term retention. Our brain may only be 2-2.5 % of our body weight but it demands 25% of the total energy consumption.  Blood flow is the only way oxygen gets delivered to the brain, so the more we get that going the healthier the brain is in performing its functions.

The amygdala twins need their three friends - the Tres Amigos - to be in top shape:  Diet, Exercise (that hippocampus hips provide) and Sleep.  To aid us in remembering, we will go by the acronym, D.E.S.

Diet goes with little reminding on how important it is for our general health and overall maintenance of our physiology, but one caution is to avoid over indulgence, particularly in alcoholic consumption, marijuana, and other drugs. They are memory busters.  There is little we can add to what has already been said about the right balanced diets for nutrition.

"Sleep, perchance to dream" from Shakespeare's Hamlet has more to say than the Bard of Avon may have ever imagined.  As a species, a third of our daily existence, more or less, is to sleep. It cannot be underestimated nor ignored. Our H and A demand it.  It might be the  downtime for most of our body but H and A use the time to sort, organize and file memories we've experienced throughout the day.  I am simplifying here but that explains dreams and why we have them. Now, how do dolphins and whales sleep? They are water bound air-breathing mammals, so what is their secret? Read up on it and begin your treasure hunting for trivia.  Your H and A will appreciate the exercise.

We do not have to remember the jumbled words above.  Just remember to move those hips and what D.E.S. stands for.

I don't or, more likely, can't dance but I hope my swimming routine gives enough hip actions for my hippocampus. We all would like to believe our D.E.S. levels are adequate but we should always be mindful of that.

Let's be mindful too that every modern invention or amenity in life almost always has another side, often in shades darker than gray. The couch and television are two of those that as a pair will likely be responsible for creating a path for an evolutionary diversity that in a thousand years (assuming our species will still be around) future anthropologists will identify as  a new sub-species: "homo couch potato modernis". Please take this with a sense of humor, or instead simply realize that the couch and television are memory busters if used for far too long every day.

So, because I do not have total recall, below is how I make sure I know exactly where my wallet, driving glasses and  car keys are at any moment I need them.  My cell phone would be there too except I used it to take this photo.  And this took my go-to hand eye coordination activity that is woodworking to make them.

One more thing.  Our H and A are not only in charge of one enormous filing cabinet, they catalogue them for easy retrieval.  When we were young we hardly forgot new stuff we learned as our H and A had relatively fewer files to work on.

We can imagine that as we advance in years, H and A will have a need to work harder in sorting new files or retrieving old ones. But it is also the accumulation of those files that allow us the privilege of having this most important attribute that comes with aging - wisdom.  We have H and A to thank for it. H and A also have a way of filing away bad memories to the back of the filing cabinet, and in extreme cases simply fail to retrieve them, often for good reason, or it shuts down the entire retrieval system and that is how some folks suffer from amnesia.  In other cases, bad memories are kept in front of the filing cabinet and that is how grudges remain a corrosive part of memory.

Our H and A will serve us well when they arrange for good memories to remain in front of the filing system for ease of recollection when we need to lift our spirits or to just feel good with little effort.

There is so much H and A can do for us and all they ask is regular exercise, a healthy diet and a good night sleep. The message to us is that we should never stop learning past the retirement date.  H and A still have enough room to file literally to last a lifetime. Find joy in learning new stuff for H and A to file.  We keep them busy that way. Encourage them to keep the happy files up front of the filing cabinet.

Let us look below at a few lines from Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Memory" from his musical, "Cats", 

"Memory, all alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the old days

I was beautiful then

I remember the time I knew what happiness was

Let the memory live again"

Keep the hippocampus hips moving and enough, good quality D.E.S. for our H and A to keep working for a long, long happy time.