Next time you are waiting in line at the grocery's checkout station make a note of the cashier's name tag (they almost always have it) and when it's your turn, greet him or her by their name, "Hi Alice", "Hi Todd". 9 out of 10, you will notice a change in their facial expression or they'll respond with a sudden happier look on their faces. If they have a unique name, like Luzanda, or one spelled a little differently, as in Carlee or Kirbe (with an 'e" instead of a 'y' in a typical Carly or Kirby), let them know you noticed admiringly at the uniqueness. Whether they started at their station just minutes ago or are in their fifth hour, chances are your greeting made a difference.
Often, it is the littlest thing in the world that often matters.
I just learned that from someone years ago. "You see", someone told me, "there is no sweeter word in any language than a person's name, when he or she hears it said in a friendly, happy tone with a dose of sincere feeling attached to it". In fact, hearing their name said by someone they don't know, a customer, who took the effort to greet them that way goes a long way to picking their spirits up. That alone makes them realize you cared enough to greet them and say their name in a gleeful way. And, you know what, it didn't cost you anything. It was just one little thing.
Often, it is the littlest thing in the world that often matters.
But, we should be mindful too about the trapdoor that little things can do. Do you know that 99% of the time a huge argument - to the point of yelling, cardiac inducing screams - almost always start from one little thing? Do you recall arguing over something that was merely about a subplot, not the main plot mind you, of a movie, or how to load a dishwasher, or arguing over one purchased piece of merchandise hardly worth the price of one casual discussion, or even how to get to a place that both looked forward to go for a good meal?
Five years ago I wrote, "Anatomy of the Argument", a portion of it I quote below:
What perpetuates an argument lies in the eternal view that winning is paramount when, in fact, nobody really wins. The ecstasy of victory only lasts for a moment, a battle won is not worth the agony of regret. Below is a popular quote whose authorship or endorsement is no longer acknowledged by either man or woman. But it's truth remains.
"A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of another argument."
Please simulate dead silence for a moment because I share the only antidote known by man.
Thus, all I have to say now is "Yes Dear".
I recommend reading the quick and short musing at:
https://abreloth.blogspot.com/2018/03/anatomy-of-argument.html
It's the littlest of things indeed that really matter. No matter how huge you think your world is, or how we perceive our infinitely huge universe is, it is the little thing where everything begins. Wealth begins and ends with a penny, every year starts and ends with a second. When we discovered that the atom was the smallest particle of matter, where atom is from Greek, "atomos" which means indivisible, we found it was made up of a nucleus and electrons around it. Today, we know there are even smaller subatomic components that even electrons are made of. Now, we know there are quarks, six of them with names like charm and strange, and recent theories say subatomic strings whose loop can only be imagined in eleven dimensions are even imaginarily smaller still. Weirder still is that fundamental matter may exhibit wave-like properties. All minutely little things.
Little things like taking the trash out with no prior prompting from your wife or even emptying the clothes dryer or dishwasher is enough to melt a wife's tired heart after a long day's housekeeping. This little thing speaks loudly to the husband's unspoken appreciation of his wife's often thankless job of keeping the household in order. Did it cost a lot? No, it was nothing.
Likewise, one little thing a wife may do is remind him what it was that made her say yes in the first place. Husbands are more sensitive to ego boosts and it costs little for a wife to, even if only once in a while, reinforce that coat of armor or polish it to shine if only for a bit at a time. One little dose that cost so little.
Don't we know that a cup of water will put out a fire quickly and effectively when it starts but not after it is now the proverbial conflagration to each one's regret? As always that big fire of an argument started as mere spark from nothing. Don't we remember a time one peaceful afternoon or one quiet evening ruined by one silly argument? Think back to every argument that spread like one wildfire between two people that could have been prevented if in the beginning one of two took one step backward to say, "I'm sorry, we don't need to argue about this. I'm here to listen to your side if you're willing to listen to mine as well". Do you know that that is the one time a soft, almost monotone of a few words will be louder than a thunder clap, only perceptible through the heart? It didn't cost much energy either.
But like everything, there is a flip side even for one little droplet or one leaky faucet.
One droplet may cause one little dripple. A hundred of it may fill a glass but trillions upon trillions of it may cause a flood. One leaky faucet is much easier to fix but it will fill a clogged sink in no time and ruin the kitchen or bathroom floor. Often, it is us who clog our mind when all it could have taken was to let one drip of a comment go by. Lest we forget it takes one tiny grain of sand under our eyelid to blur our vision or cause one irritating episode of discomfort and pain.
Let not our hearts be troubled by the littlest of things. On the other hand, it is also the littlest of things we can do to unburden someone of one heavy load. If we do that even if only from time to time, another person's day is made brighter no matter how gloomy the forecast is.
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