The Truer Side of "The Best Years of Our Lives"

Quang is a cashier at Wal-Mart. The first time I met him was a couple of months ago. In halting English but so eager to speak the new language, he apparently wanted to practice it on every customer at his station.  He treated his job with such uncharacteristic enthusiasm which made me wonder how long he could keep it up.  A few weeks, months or longer?

About two months later, a week ago, was when I saw him again. There were two cashiers that morning. It was before 9:00 A.M. One cashier had a customer. The other cashier was busy wiping and tidying his station.  For the obvious reason I chose that station.  The cashier looked up from what he was doing. It was Quang.  He still had that infectious smile. His English was much improved, then he recognized me from that one encounter a while back.

I asked him how he was and if he still enjoyed his job. He replied, "I like it. This is the best year for me".  He went on to elaborate that coming from Vietnam and getting the papers that gave him permanent U.S. residency and  a job at Wal-Mart were the best things that happened to him.

Before bidding my goodbye, I thanked him and told him I hope he will continue to have many more good years.  He replied, "I will have many best years.  Thank you."

That right there may lead anyone to ponder, "How are we to define the meaning of the best year(s) of our lives?"  Quang's definition is clearly different from what many of us will consider as best; there is definitely no  meaningful standard measuring rod because everything varies from person to person.  If we were to take a poll we will find as many different answers as there are people responding to the survey.

Not only is the answer so subjective, it actually depends on where anyone is at a particular point in their lives.  Anyone above fifty or seventy years old may look back to any point in the past as where their best years were. Children will have little to say, let alone even be capable of putting context to  the question, but we must assume theirs are still way out into the future.

The young aspiring junior executive must be looking to the not yet well defined future of a corner office or the six-figure compensation at some future time.  Newly weds have a view of a picture-perfect home in the suburbs with two perfect children, and membership at the country club.

Quang is too new to the ways of his adopted world that his views may still be obscured and definitely different from the far higher and loftier ideals of those who finished their education from  Ivy League schools.  But indeed he is right about having many best years ahead, dictated primarily by where he came from.  Where he will be years from now we just can't know.

Paul, also from Vietnam, came to the U.S. in his late teens.  His parents were refugees after the war there.  Growing up in Vietnam Paul had little direction about where his life was heading.  He drunk and smoked as most of his teenage buddies did.  Later, after all the necessary paper work came through he came to the U.S.  That was almost two decades ago. He learned to cut hair and my wife and I met him at the hair salon where he worked. That was then for me as a customer since there is little Paul can work on now because what once was my pride and joy is now relegated to a self administered treatment with a safety razor. 

My wife still has her hair care done by Paul who now owns his own salon with a several hair stylists under his employ.  Paul is now married and a dad to two teenagers.  He no longer smoke nor drink; instead he goes to the gym, and so far maintains a well toned physique. So, how do we define Paul's best years?  He may already have had a few but with his own salon, we can expect more, can't we?

If I were asked that question while I was growing up in one of the central islands of the Philippines many decades ago, my sights were set much too low relative to where my family and I are now.  Far from that nipa-thatched home, bamboo slats for flooring where as a kid I could see ducks and chicken below, dirt poor was how our family would have been described even by the standards of that time, so my best years had to be layered across many different times and geographically halfway across the globe.  Graduating from college, my first job, employment at multinational companies there and here, immigration, retirement, the dream home we are in now (by our own measure and not anyone else, of course) , etc. are all in many layers, each bookended by ups and downs. 

Of course, we all must realize that ups and downs are by themselves part of the shades and shadows, the pastels and the dark and bright colors that make up the entire landscape if our lives were painted with the paintbrushes of our own individual efforts, fate, happenstances, good fortune, the helping hands of countless others, families that never lost hope, and the so many little things already embedded in the original canvass from which the painting began.

Should we then say that there may not  really be one best year or a string of best years in our lives.  One armchair philosopher declared that all the years we are alive are all best years.  Perhaps.  Clearly any year we are free of illness can be a good year. Are the years as a child who is free of worries the best years ever? But going back to the paragraph above, don't the shades and shadows actually make us appreciate the pastels and bright colors?

What is true is that the past should not be the only repository for our best years. We may have had good times there but they are best visited only through our memories.  Waking up every morning for another sunrise is a bonus we should not take for granted. The future is where there are unopened gifts.  Not knowing what they are can of course be both exciting and worrisome.  If we can free ourselves of worry and focus only on the next sunrise, one morning after another, perhaps that is the ticket.  

Speaking of  tickets, let us keep in mind that when they were purchased we really didn't know how far they were good for.  But for as long as we are still on board the train of life, we can rightfully hope and expect that there are still good times ahead.  Who knows The Best Years of our Life may be under full extension.  Until the last station, enjoying the journey is still up for grabs.