To live happily ever after is what life is all about, isn't it? But I have to wonder. Is that true of all life? Or, is it only true for us homo sapiens? Or, is it even a reasonable expectation? And then there is the question of who and more importantly what defines happily ever after. Of course, it is just us who can think in this manner.
What is happily ever after for an impala, for example, when it worries all the time about the leopard, or a pride of hungry lions, lurking among the tall grasses. It is likewise not even always a happy moment for a cheetah after a heart pounding, lung-exploding chase to catch a gazelle because a band of marauding laughing hyenas or a platoon of wild dogs are within a scent away of the fresh kill. A lion king is never assured of holding on to the pride that he fought so hard to get and keep. There is always one young strong unattached male waiting to barge in, or worse, two young brothers in search of a pride of lionesses to wrestle away from an aging male. Life, for these and many other animals, does not have any, not even a tiny bit, of potential for "happily-ever-aftering", to quote King Arthur in the Broadway musical, "Camelot". Animals don't retire to pursue a hobby or do volunteer work. They merely expire, often abruptly, without ceremony, speeches or the obligatory retirement cake.
What is happily ever after for an impala, for example, when it worries all the time about the leopard, or a pride of hungry lions, lurking among the tall grasses. It is likewise not even always a happy moment for a cheetah after a heart pounding, lung-exploding chase to catch a gazelle because a band of marauding laughing hyenas or a platoon of wild dogs are within a scent away of the fresh kill. A lion king is never assured of holding on to the pride that he fought so hard to get and keep. There is always one young strong unattached male waiting to barge in, or worse, two young brothers in search of a pride of lionesses to wrestle away from an aging male. Life, for these and many other animals, does not have any, not even a tiny bit, of potential for "happily-ever-aftering", to quote King Arthur in the Broadway musical, "Camelot". Animals don't retire to pursue a hobby or do volunteer work. They merely expire, often abruptly, without ceremony, speeches or the obligatory retirement cake.
The zoo is the only place where a wild animal is guaranteed safe space. But clearly, it may be a sanctuary, but we know, the animals know, that that is not living happily ever after, either.
But then, in our world, the one we've taken millennia to develop into a civilized society, does happily ever after really exist? We need to be honest about answering this question. Please read the quote below.
"I've often wondered what it would be like to win the lottery and suddenly have more money than I could ever reasonably spend. I won't win because I don't play, but of course most people who play don't win, either."
----------------------- William von Hippel (Discover Magazine, March 2019)
Mr. von Hippel wondered further, talking about those who actually won the lottery, "They may be driving a nicer car, but their mind is focused on the fact that they're still sitting in traffic."
Now, now Mr. von Hippel. Would you rather be sitting in traffic in an eleven year old Chevy, in dire need of a tune up with an air conditioner that barely works or in a Bentley, on an ergonomically calibrated supple leather seat, breathing HEPA filtered air-conditioned air, listening to jazz over 16 Dolby-tuned surround speakers driven by a 200 watt amplifier? Which would you rather be in?
Let's back up for a minute. Is "happily ever after" really real? More properly, is it defined as a destination, a final place, the ultimate physical state, or is it a state of mind? Or, none of these.
Factual or not, Alexander the Great, at age 33, supposedly wept after realizing he ran out of places to conquer. There is no record of it anywhere, attribution from Plutarch the Historian notwithstanding, nor was it credibly fact-checked by film script writers when Hans Gruber said it in the 1988 movie, "Die Hard". Alexander died at 34. We don't know how old exactly but he died young. That much is true.
This question, many would consider as mere musing, is actually far from trivial. Seriously, what is everyone's ultimate motivation in life? Job interviewers almost always ask the question, "Where do you see yourself five years from now, ten years from now?" Hardly, not even once, I think, that an applicant is asked, "How do you see yourself at retirement?" Or, "What do you like to do when you retire?" I think that is more insightful than a 5 or 10 year plan. Maybe. But that's not a bad thing to ask a future employee. It could be put into the mix for a different window into the applicant's outlook.
Back to the original query. Sociologists, psychologists, HR experts, your priest, minister, or rabbi, more importantly your significant other, will likely disburse differing opinions. We'll stay clear of those. But where else can we turn?
Von Hippel did look into that. He writes for Discover magazine, so he viewed it from the context of the natural sciences, more specifically, how this aspiration for a happy ending is driven by evolutionary impulses, or by natural selection.
In the article was a German adage, "Anticipated joy is the greatest joy". Let that sink in for a minute.
Every parent in the Western and every Christian world knows just how much energy their kids put out in anticipation of Christmas morning. Hanukkah, while not at all similar to the Christian tradition, is accompanied by anticipation as well, perhaps not to the same degree but it too had changed over time as to have digressed from its original meaning. Anticipated joy is further enhanced by the Christmas countdown, including knocking off time from celebrating Thanksgiving to give way to Black Friday that now even begins on Thursday night. But what happens when all the gift wrappers are all strewn over the floor, and all the anticipation quelled? I'll let the reader be the judge.
Sandra Hayes won the Missouri lottery that was 224 million dollars in 2006. This is what she said about the very people she loved whom she described as , "turning into vampires, trying to suck the life out of me". Winning obviously did not buy her happiness. And, I'm sure the reader has heard or read about other similar unfortunate anti-happily-after-ever outcome.
The clamor for happiness is universal. The emotion is real. Von Hippel wrote that the evolution of species is all about being re-productively successful. Propagation of the species takes precedence over everything else, to the exclusion of the individual's real or perceived happiness. Take this with a grain of salt, if you like, but it is just another rationale for why the aspiration for happiness is a universal instinct, or that it has a natural driver rooted in our genes. "Happiness is a tool that evolution uses to incentivize us to do what is in our genes' best interest". In fact, he said that lasting happiness would actually get "evolution to lose one of its ways to motivate us". A rather cold assessment but let's move on.
Amazon knows about "anticipated joy". Next time try to remember and note the stages of your state of mind from the moment of "researching", and narrowing down your choices until you get to click that "Place your order button". You not only get the confirmation almost immediately but Amazon knows to get you on that high level by enabling you to "track your order". This lengthens and sustains that part of your brain where "anticipated joy" resides. It continues until that package arrives. Then what? You're ready for the next moment of "anticipated joy" that Amazon is counting on. Now, this is not true of everyone, for sure. But do remember this. There is something about "Anticipated joy is the greatest joy".
Did the founding fathers knew it then when the Declaration of Independence was conceived? Take the phrase "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". It is still being debated today as to the meaning of "pursuit of happiness". Many claim that it means to chase after, others say it has more to do with the attainment of it as a goal at the end, while others take the idea of practicing happiness as part of everyday life as opposed to going after it like some kind of distinct material entity, such as a prized trophy rather than a state of mind. Whatever the case, or wherever the reader stands, happiness was conceived by the founding fathers as one of equal value with life itself and liberty.
We know, of course, that happiness is not something that can be bottled or packaged. It is as different as the beholder may decide what it actually is. Sandra Hayes, the lottery winner, clearly realized it cannot be purchased. In fact, money or the acquisition of a sudden windfall made happiness an impossibility. In her case, she knew she was a lot happier before than after winning the lottery.
Here is something to consider. A two dollar lottery ticket is the cheapest form of entertainment money can buy. You see, until the numbers are drawn and just before you throw away the now useless non-winning number you were filled with anticipated joy. Make note though that the minute you spend a lot of money on lottery tickets, such as those who spend a great portion of their weekly check for the Power Ball at its peak, no longer get the anticipated joy. It is trepidation instead - the anticipated sorrow that a bunch of tickets worth a bunch of money will plummet in value, negatively worse than Venezuela's Bolivar (at an inflation rate of 1,698,488% 2018 est.). So now we know entertainment can be bought cheaply with two dollars. Ironically, unlike a front row seat at a concert, a bunch of money on lottery tickets buy nothing but a nerve wracking, woeful episode. Buy it cheap, if you must, because two dollars might be worth the anticipated joy. However, one should realize that it is money thrown to the wind, 99.999% of the time.
In my woodworking I notice that I am happiest in the midst of doing the project. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the finished product but it is always while working on it that gives me most joy. And time seems to flow more quickly in the midst of working on a project. The quality of joy in the process seems to evoke more tingling sensations than during the moments spent viewing the finished work. We all know that sitting idly makes time move like molasses; working on something makes the minutes and hours go in haste.
Therefore, happiness must be a derivative of the process, not some kind of destination to go after. It is not a physical entity but perhaps one that is dimensionless, without form but one that only an individual may recognize. It cannot be dictated or forced onto anyone by anybody. It could actually be a regimen that can be practiced. It could be a means and an end in and of itself, outwardly visible only through the individual. It is practiced and can be measured in doses of optimism or one defined by a generally positive outlook. Optimism is one of anticipated joy, pessimism is one of dreadful expectation. If one must engage in the pursuit of happiness, take optimism along. Unharness any pessimism and leave it behind before it drags everything the other way. The wrong way.
With that, science or not, I think happiness can indeed be practiced. And so we can conceivably make it a form of exercise, and with practice we could get better at it. As with any kind of exercise, it must be done with regularity. I'm just talking here because obviously happiness is immeasurable but are we not able to see it brightly when we see someone so ebulliently exuding with it? Yes, an individual will feel it, we see it, but happiness' greatest feat is to be different and varied in form and intensity, and it always depends upon the individual. Most of all, happiness is one we will have to choose to have on our own but it cannot be forced on us by anybody or by you on others. However, mark this. The other feat happiness is capable of doing is that it could be infectious and this is the only instance where one may choose to be a carrier and the infection you carry is sought rather than avoided.
So, be a carrier, or if you see someone who is, get close and decide to be infected.
Back to the original query. Sociologists, psychologists, HR experts, your priest, minister, or rabbi, more importantly your significant other, will likely disburse differing opinions. We'll stay clear of those. But where else can we turn?
Von Hippel did look into that. He writes for Discover magazine, so he viewed it from the context of the natural sciences, more specifically, how this aspiration for a happy ending is driven by evolutionary impulses, or by natural selection.
In the article was a German adage, "Anticipated joy is the greatest joy". Let that sink in for a minute.
Every parent in the Western and every Christian world knows just how much energy their kids put out in anticipation of Christmas morning. Hanukkah, while not at all similar to the Christian tradition, is accompanied by anticipation as well, perhaps not to the same degree but it too had changed over time as to have digressed from its original meaning. Anticipated joy is further enhanced by the Christmas countdown, including knocking off time from celebrating Thanksgiving to give way to Black Friday that now even begins on Thursday night. But what happens when all the gift wrappers are all strewn over the floor, and all the anticipation quelled? I'll let the reader be the judge.
Sandra Hayes won the Missouri lottery that was 224 million dollars in 2006. This is what she said about the very people she loved whom she described as , "turning into vampires, trying to suck the life out of me". Winning obviously did not buy her happiness. And, I'm sure the reader has heard or read about other similar unfortunate anti-happily-after-ever outcome.
The clamor for happiness is universal. The emotion is real. Von Hippel wrote that the evolution of species is all about being re-productively successful. Propagation of the species takes precedence over everything else, to the exclusion of the individual's real or perceived happiness. Take this with a grain of salt, if you like, but it is just another rationale for why the aspiration for happiness is a universal instinct, or that it has a natural driver rooted in our genes. "Happiness is a tool that evolution uses to incentivize us to do what is in our genes' best interest". In fact, he said that lasting happiness would actually get "evolution to lose one of its ways to motivate us". A rather cold assessment but let's move on.
Amazon knows about "anticipated joy". Next time try to remember and note the stages of your state of mind from the moment of "researching", and narrowing down your choices until you get to click that "Place your order button". You not only get the confirmation almost immediately but Amazon knows to get you on that high level by enabling you to "track your order". This lengthens and sustains that part of your brain where "anticipated joy" resides. It continues until that package arrives. Then what? You're ready for the next moment of "anticipated joy" that Amazon is counting on. Now, this is not true of everyone, for sure. But do remember this. There is something about "Anticipated joy is the greatest joy".
Did the founding fathers knew it then when the Declaration of Independence was conceived? Take the phrase "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". It is still being debated today as to the meaning of "pursuit of happiness". Many claim that it means to chase after, others say it has more to do with the attainment of it as a goal at the end, while others take the idea of practicing happiness as part of everyday life as opposed to going after it like some kind of distinct material entity, such as a prized trophy rather than a state of mind. Whatever the case, or wherever the reader stands, happiness was conceived by the founding fathers as one of equal value with life itself and liberty.
We know, of course, that happiness is not something that can be bottled or packaged. It is as different as the beholder may decide what it actually is. Sandra Hayes, the lottery winner, clearly realized it cannot be purchased. In fact, money or the acquisition of a sudden windfall made happiness an impossibility. In her case, she knew she was a lot happier before than after winning the lottery.
Here is something to consider. A two dollar lottery ticket is the cheapest form of entertainment money can buy. You see, until the numbers are drawn and just before you throw away the now useless non-winning number you were filled with anticipated joy. Make note though that the minute you spend a lot of money on lottery tickets, such as those who spend a great portion of their weekly check for the Power Ball at its peak, no longer get the anticipated joy. It is trepidation instead - the anticipated sorrow that a bunch of tickets worth a bunch of money will plummet in value, negatively worse than Venezuela's Bolivar (at an inflation rate of 1,698,488% 2018 est.). So now we know entertainment can be bought cheaply with two dollars. Ironically, unlike a front row seat at a concert, a bunch of money on lottery tickets buy nothing but a nerve wracking, woeful episode. Buy it cheap, if you must, because two dollars might be worth the anticipated joy. However, one should realize that it is money thrown to the wind, 99.999% of the time.
In my woodworking I notice that I am happiest in the midst of doing the project. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the finished product but it is always while working on it that gives me most joy. And time seems to flow more quickly in the midst of working on a project. The quality of joy in the process seems to evoke more tingling sensations than during the moments spent viewing the finished work. We all know that sitting idly makes time move like molasses; working on something makes the minutes and hours go in haste.
Therefore, happiness must be a derivative of the process, not some kind of destination to go after. It is not a physical entity but perhaps one that is dimensionless, without form but one that only an individual may recognize. It cannot be dictated or forced onto anyone by anybody. It could actually be a regimen that can be practiced. It could be a means and an end in and of itself, outwardly visible only through the individual. It is practiced and can be measured in doses of optimism or one defined by a generally positive outlook. Optimism is one of anticipated joy, pessimism is one of dreadful expectation. If one must engage in the pursuit of happiness, take optimism along. Unharness any pessimism and leave it behind before it drags everything the other way. The wrong way.
With that, science or not, I think happiness can indeed be practiced. And so we can conceivably make it a form of exercise, and with practice we could get better at it. As with any kind of exercise, it must be done with regularity. I'm just talking here because obviously happiness is immeasurable but are we not able to see it brightly when we see someone so ebulliently exuding with it? Yes, an individual will feel it, we see it, but happiness' greatest feat is to be different and varied in form and intensity, and it always depends upon the individual. Most of all, happiness is one we will have to choose to have on our own but it cannot be forced on us by anybody or by you on others. However, mark this. The other feat happiness is capable of doing is that it could be infectious and this is the only instance where one may choose to be a carrier and the infection you carry is sought rather than avoided.
So, be a carrier, or if you see someone who is, get close and decide to be infected.
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