A couple of European readers actually thought that the origin of popular phrases in the previous blog as portrayed by the stories I wove around them were real. They were merely made up by me. As it turned out, for the most part, only American English speakers saw the humor in them. Or, as the British natives would say, "humour". None native English speakers therefore beware! Now, it must be realized, however, that the stories that accompany them are slight reflections or social commentaries on American life (if you can see them), which stand on their own. But the phrases and idiomatic expressions are real. The puns are ...well ... you be the judge 😎
1. Amy and Joan, long time friends, wanted so much to get to this very popular restaurant that always has a long line and a reservation waiting list that goes back weeks. They think they found a clever way to beat the system.
1. Amy and Joan, long time friends, wanted so much to get to this very popular restaurant that always has a long line and a reservation waiting list that goes back weeks. They think they found a clever way to beat the system.
One day, at ten in the morning the two friends went to the restaurant as the breakfast crowd was thinning. Breakfast does not require reservations so they had no problem getting seated. By 11:15 the breakfast crowd is gone except for the two friends. They nursed their now lukewarm coffee as slowly as they can - sip by intermittent sip. By this time the waiter approached them with the check who then told them that they needed to leave as soon as possible because the staff had to change all the table cloths for the lunch diners that are now lining up outside.
Amy said they're having lunch as well as a continuation and they're happy to keep the table with or without the new table cloth. But the waiter said they can't do that. Joan demanded that the waiter call the manager. The manager came and Joan explained that since they are here and still have their table they have every right to it and are now willing to order their next meal as a continuation.
The manager, now rather peeved and quickly losing his patience, explained as sternly as he could that for 23 years he'd been working in this restaurant throughout all that time he was sure ,
"There is no such thing as a pre-lunch" .
"There is no such thing as a pre-lunch" .
2. Greg's wife Peggy is known to be such a picky person when it comes to certain things. One day their electric door bell - Peggy's favorite because of the particular chime it played when people come at the front door - ceased to work. It needed to be replaced. Peggy dragged Greg to go shopping for a new door bell. Just what Greg dreaded, they'd been to several stores, by car and by foot, but Peggy didn't find anything that suited her taste or fancy. Then there was this small store that Peggy said is the last one for the day. It was getting late and if she couldn't find any there, the hunt continues the following day. They went in even though Greg held little hope. The owner came to greet them and showed Peggy a few that might interest her. Meanwhile Greg, not wanting to be anywhere near when Peggy dashes any hope of ever finding her "door bell", decided to browse at the opposite corner and as far away from where Peggy and the store owner were doing their little back and forth.
Hardly twenty minutes passed and there was Peggy with a paper bag at the cashier's station waiting in line to pay. Greg grabbed the store owner to ask him what his secret was. The store owner said, "I can tell as soon as you came in from the looks on your faces that you've been to at least five or so stores already". Greg said, "Six and you are the seventh. So tell me!"
The store owner was happy to explain. "I have these three most popular door bells and they excel in performance. But they're rated at good, better and best. So what I did, which is what I usually do, was let your wife listen to the good one first, then the better one, and the best one last. At that point, she made her decision". The store owner had known this for a very long time now that with a little patience and clever timing he just knew that,
"The third chime is always a charm."
"The third chime is always a charm."
3. Bob was telling his best friend Josh about this new woman he'd been dating for sometime now that Josh has yet to meet. Josh asked Bob how is it so far. Bob said, "Ruth is kind of special except for a few things. She's beautiful and smart and almost unreal, even too good to be true". SO what's the problem, asked Josh.
Bob told him Ruth orders dessert first before the main meal. Not as a dietary thing but just because she'd rather eat the best part of the dining experience first. There are other idiosyncrasies that makes her a little bit off compared to most everyone he knows in the real world. She's an astronomer too so she's out most nights and comes home at dawn. "But when do you guys get to go out together then?" asked Josh.
Bob replied, "We go out when Ruth is not working which is mainly during full moon or when the weather is bad. When the moon is full the night sky is not conducive to viewing distant parts of the heavens and when the weather is bad, well, that is obvious. There are no astronomical observations to be made during inclement weather".
Bob replied, "We go out when Ruth is not working which is mainly during full moon or when the weather is bad. When the moon is full the night sky is not conducive to viewing distant parts of the heavens and when the weather is bad, well, that is obvious. There are no astronomical observations to be made during inclement weather".
Bob then asked Josh what he thinks before he introduces Ruth to him. Josh as only a good friend can do said that given what Bob had told him so far,
"Ruth is stranger than fiction".
4. Al and Will had been best friends since kindergarten. They were inseparable. They played football together in high school and their team won the state championships twice. That cemented their popularity. The local town knew them as the Al and Will team.
After graduation though things went rather differently for each. Al went to work the farm that his family gave him to develop, a parcel of land that was part of the family's large acreage that had been theirs for generations. Will went to find his fortune in the city thirty miles or so away. He didn't do too well and in no time resorted to petty crimes.
Meanwhile, Al worked hard. He just finished digging a well as a water source for the few livestock and poultry he had recently added to the land and well on his way to developing an orchard.
Meanwhile, Will was increasingly getting into hard core crime. Then one afternoon he decided to rob a bank. It didn't go well. Police were alerted but Will had sped away in his getaway car. He drove away from the city in the direction of his old town towards Al's farm. Will found Al by the well where Al was unloading bricks. Apparently the bricks were to provide a wall around the open well. They were talking animatedly when police cars, trailed by swirling dust, were heading towards the farm. Al pleaded with Will to give himself up. Will will have none of that. As the first police car turned in after the gate, Will made a few steps back pulling a hand gun from his waist band. Not realizing that he was close to the open well he kept stepping back. Then he fell into the well.
While waiting for the firemen to arrive to rescue Will the Sheriff held a news conference. Though a little dismayed and disappointed by what happened in this small town, the Sheriff was saddened by the turn of events and as he looked down the big hole, he said, "From what we can see here, it is:
Al's well that ends Will!"
5. Nick lives in Queens, NY. It's a tough neighborhood where he makes a living. Even tougher for him because the small store that he runs is as much a legitimate fruit stand as a front for a numbers game and illegal sports betting. He takes in bets from professional gamblers and the local folks who are also his customers. He knows all his customers which also include some of the poorest ones who had no business parlaying what little money they had in the hope of hitting it big in numbers or sports betting. Often some of these folks would incur gambling debts they have a hard time paying back.
Nick appears tough though because he had to maintain that exterior so no one runs up debts beyond what he'd allow. Nobody does for the most part. Every now and then some tough looking men would hang out at the store. They have the swagger of mean-looking enforcers from the "organization". It is enough to provide the right "image" though Nick never used them.
Nick does not go straight home every evening. No one really knows where he goes for an hour except his wife. He volunteers each night at a homeless center serving meals. Then he goes home to have a later dinner with his wife. The two children would eat earlier and attend to their school work.
As most evenings go, Nick's wife asked him how his day went. "There was a lot of people at the homeless center tonight and I really felt bad for those folks", Nick replied. "I will probably work there a bit longer this Sunday. By the way, Salvatore came to the store today. He still couldn't pay the $200 he owes me. I told him I'll forgive it if he volunteers his whole Sunday at the center. Don't worry he won't see me because I'll work in the kitchen. He will be assigned to clean the tables and push wheel chairs and other chores."
His wife gave him a warm kiss on the forehead and said, "You're a good man Nick."
This proves once again that, "You can't judge a bookie by his cover."
The real expressions are (just for the benefit of those unfamiliar or who didn't get what the stories were all about):
1. "There is no such thing as a free lunch." This has a really interesting origin. In old English taverns some owners offered free lunch to customers who ordered a drink. The cook would actually put extra salt on the food. The salty meals made the customers thirsty so they ordered more drinks; more than they had originally intended. Hence, in life we somehow pay in some way or another for most of what we thought we got for free.
2. "The third time is a charm."
3. "Truth is stranger than fiction".
4. "All's well that ends well." --- By no other than Will Shakespeare
5. "Don't judge a book by its cover."
"Ruth is stranger than fiction".
4. Al and Will had been best friends since kindergarten. They were inseparable. They played football together in high school and their team won the state championships twice. That cemented their popularity. The local town knew them as the Al and Will team.
After graduation though things went rather differently for each. Al went to work the farm that his family gave him to develop, a parcel of land that was part of the family's large acreage that had been theirs for generations. Will went to find his fortune in the city thirty miles or so away. He didn't do too well and in no time resorted to petty crimes.
Meanwhile, Al worked hard. He just finished digging a well as a water source for the few livestock and poultry he had recently added to the land and well on his way to developing an orchard.
Meanwhile, Will was increasingly getting into hard core crime. Then one afternoon he decided to rob a bank. It didn't go well. Police were alerted but Will had sped away in his getaway car. He drove away from the city in the direction of his old town towards Al's farm. Will found Al by the well where Al was unloading bricks. Apparently the bricks were to provide a wall around the open well. They were talking animatedly when police cars, trailed by swirling dust, were heading towards the farm. Al pleaded with Will to give himself up. Will will have none of that. As the first police car turned in after the gate, Will made a few steps back pulling a hand gun from his waist band. Not realizing that he was close to the open well he kept stepping back. Then he fell into the well.
While waiting for the firemen to arrive to rescue Will the Sheriff held a news conference. Though a little dismayed and disappointed by what happened in this small town, the Sheriff was saddened by the turn of events and as he looked down the big hole, he said, "From what we can see here, it is:
Al's well that ends Will!"
5. Nick lives in Queens, NY. It's a tough neighborhood where he makes a living. Even tougher for him because the small store that he runs is as much a legitimate fruit stand as a front for a numbers game and illegal sports betting. He takes in bets from professional gamblers and the local folks who are also his customers. He knows all his customers which also include some of the poorest ones who had no business parlaying what little money they had in the hope of hitting it big in numbers or sports betting. Often some of these folks would incur gambling debts they have a hard time paying back.
Nick appears tough though because he had to maintain that exterior so no one runs up debts beyond what he'd allow. Nobody does for the most part. Every now and then some tough looking men would hang out at the store. They have the swagger of mean-looking enforcers from the "organization". It is enough to provide the right "image" though Nick never used them.
Nick does not go straight home every evening. No one really knows where he goes for an hour except his wife. He volunteers each night at a homeless center serving meals. Then he goes home to have a later dinner with his wife. The two children would eat earlier and attend to their school work.
As most evenings go, Nick's wife asked him how his day went. "There was a lot of people at the homeless center tonight and I really felt bad for those folks", Nick replied. "I will probably work there a bit longer this Sunday. By the way, Salvatore came to the store today. He still couldn't pay the $200 he owes me. I told him I'll forgive it if he volunteers his whole Sunday at the center. Don't worry he won't see me because I'll work in the kitchen. He will be assigned to clean the tables and push wheel chairs and other chores."
His wife gave him a warm kiss on the forehead and said, "You're a good man Nick."
This proves once again that, "You can't judge a bookie by his cover."
The real expressions are (just for the benefit of those unfamiliar or who didn't get what the stories were all about):
1. "There is no such thing as a free lunch." This has a really interesting origin. In old English taverns some owners offered free lunch to customers who ordered a drink. The cook would actually put extra salt on the food. The salty meals made the customers thirsty so they ordered more drinks; more than they had originally intended. Hence, in life we somehow pay in some way or another for most of what we thought we got for free.
2. "The third time is a charm."
3. "Truth is stranger than fiction".
4. "All's well that ends well." --- By no other than Will Shakespeare
5. "Don't judge a book by its cover."
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