The cartoon is funny I must admit. What is not funny - it seems like it wasn't too long ago when I thought it will be a while before this happens - is that I woke up one day and realized I am now at that age. It does give me comfort though that other folks I know who are my age look a lot older than I (or so I thought. It turns out everyone of my generation thinks every one of their friends looks older than them).
Don't get me wrong, I have never been more entertained and amused by senior jokes. From time to time though I feel for those seniors in Florida who despite their law abiding flair for maintaining a 55 mile per hour speed on highways that do post the 55 mph limits are subjects of derision by those (younger folks mostly) who feel that drivers need to drive faster, specially those driving a Cadillac, worse when the vehicle they trail is an Oldsmobile Delta 98. The 98, the young ones say, was last manufactured during the last century. I argue that its assembly line did not stop until 1998. But that's exactly what younger folks tell me - I should realize that was 20 years ago. That hurts.
Okay, so some of these cars are older than half of the drivers out there. But the B-52 is 100% older than its pilots today, the first to fly them are no longer with us physically while others no longer remember they were pilots. Yet, the B-52's nuclear payload still carries a punch. I don't know where I was going with that but let's just put it out there.
So, senior movements can be glacially slow and senior moments have nothing to do with the phrase it is associated with. A senior moment is the absence of momentum, or an activity that does not involve motion. Keep in mind we are constantly going against inertia, something we blame on Isaac Newton when he formulated his famous Laws of Motion. The first law says that "an object will remain at rest ..." we can't remember the rest of it. High school physics was 50-60 years ago.
Let me continue. Where was I? Okay, we are the golden age. We've accomplished more than any member of the population. Was I going that way or did I pick that up where I left off? But then when I said, "Let me continue", I didn't mean I had already broached the subject, I just simply meant to continue, lest I lose momentum. Did I already mention about overcoming inertia? Our experiences and our wisdom are much of what we offer the incoming generation and we have lots to offer. What we tell and share with the youth is only a fraction of what we really know. That and because that's all we can recall. Suffice it to say, we didn't get to this age for doing less.
Senior jokes have become a cottage industry for young stand up comics who'd otherwise starve for material if not for us. On the other hand, senior cartoonists merely draw from experience, pun is quite well intended. To be honest, our feelings are not hurt. It would if we can remember being made fun of from one moment to the next. And that is where the beauty of old age comes in. Selective memory is second nature. And we heed frequently the call of nature. The youth makes fun of our diminished spatial ability - but they don't know how quickly we can make a mental map of the mall and other public places so as to pinpoint in a nanosecond with pinpoint accuracy where the nearest restroom is, constantly updating our relative position to it as we move around, adding new information when another location is spotted, calculating relative distances with a mental algorithm not unlike that of a GPS device.
One more before I go to the more serious stuff. Our visions may degrade but every now and then our imagination takes over. We see things that we used to only imagine, and imagine when someone keeps reading halfway through a book before finding out he or she had already read it before. Our hearing is not what it used to be when a knock-knock joke prompts us and we say, "It's open."
The golden age. It also means that on a per capita basis, meaning average for those too young to know, seniors hold much of the nation's wealth. A young researcher parked himself in front of a Fidelity Investments satellite office, or was it Charles Schwab, or was it Morgan Stanley, or TD Ameritrade? It doesn't matter. He found out that 99% of those coming in and out of those offices were about 70 years old or older. Since they're there on average not exceeding 30 minutes, they were not there for a job,obviously, concluded the young man. He discovered that the remaining 1% were actually employees who work in those offices. These young 1% are bean counters, so to speak, but the beans they count were those of the 99%. They don't really count, except to sort the computer spreadsheets and statements. The researcher interviewed some of the folks as to what the reason for their visits were typically. Most of them say it helps to pass the time and there's free coffee and print magazines and newspaper well laid out in well kept sitting areas. They know their portfolio balances in real time - they have a home computer and they have smart phones. They just visit the place because, after all, they are paying for that building and the employees. 401 K is the life blood for many of those edifices that have become synonymous with senior money, or as a silent slogan for these firms, it actually says, send your money here.
But we're not forgetting that sometimes ... this happens.
However, no matter what, wherever the above couple are in their financial life, they have gone farther in time than most and that is worth more than what money can buy. Most of all they're still sitting together and we don't see a cane or a walker. Getting old is to hold the greatest gift of all - living longer and staying healthy while doing it.
A senior was talking to St. Peter inside the Pearly Gates.
Senior: I don't get it. Just when I finally had a full understanding of how Medicare Part D works, poof, just like that - I don't need it anymore.
St. Peter: What happened, you had a catastrophic illness?
Senior: I was outside a grocery store when a group of young hooligans were harassing another senior for money. I intervened.
St. Peter: When did this happen?
Senior: Thirty seconds ago.
(Two copyrighted cartoons won't let me cut and paste them for this blog, so I made up the dialogue above, combining the two jokes in the cartoons into one.)
But seniors persevere, remain hopeful, and full of optimism in the face of societal pressures, but they make sociological adjustments even as their memory begins to dim and are promptly forgiven when they confess to sins they did not commit.
Let me continue. Where was I? Okay, we are the golden age. We've accomplished more than any member of the population. Was I going that way or did I pick that up where I left off? But then when I said, "Let me continue", I didn't mean I had already broached the subject, I just simply meant to continue, lest I lose momentum. Did I already mention about overcoming inertia? Our experiences and our wisdom are much of what we offer the incoming generation and we have lots to offer. What we tell and share with the youth is only a fraction of what we really know. That and because that's all we can recall. Suffice it to say, we didn't get to this age for doing less.
Senior jokes have become a cottage industry for young stand up comics who'd otherwise starve for material if not for us. On the other hand, senior cartoonists merely draw from experience, pun is quite well intended. To be honest, our feelings are not hurt. It would if we can remember being made fun of from one moment to the next. And that is where the beauty of old age comes in. Selective memory is second nature. And we heed frequently the call of nature. The youth makes fun of our diminished spatial ability - but they don't know how quickly we can make a mental map of the mall and other public places so as to pinpoint in a nanosecond with pinpoint accuracy where the nearest restroom is, constantly updating our relative position to it as we move around, adding new information when another location is spotted, calculating relative distances with a mental algorithm not unlike that of a GPS device.
One more before I go to the more serious stuff. Our visions may degrade but every now and then our imagination takes over. We see things that we used to only imagine, and imagine when someone keeps reading halfway through a book before finding out he or she had already read it before. Our hearing is not what it used to be when a knock-knock joke prompts us and we say, "It's open."
The golden age. It also means that on a per capita basis, meaning average for those too young to know, seniors hold much of the nation's wealth. A young researcher parked himself in front of a Fidelity Investments satellite office, or was it Charles Schwab, or was it Morgan Stanley, or TD Ameritrade? It doesn't matter. He found out that 99% of those coming in and out of those offices were about 70 years old or older. Since they're there on average not exceeding 30 minutes, they were not there for a job,obviously, concluded the young man. He discovered that the remaining 1% were actually employees who work in those offices. These young 1% are bean counters, so to speak, but the beans they count were those of the 99%. They don't really count, except to sort the computer spreadsheets and statements. The researcher interviewed some of the folks as to what the reason for their visits were typically. Most of them say it helps to pass the time and there's free coffee and print magazines and newspaper well laid out in well kept sitting areas. They know their portfolio balances in real time - they have a home computer and they have smart phones. They just visit the place because, after all, they are paying for that building and the employees. 401 K is the life blood for many of those edifices that have become synonymous with senior money, or as a silent slogan for these firms, it actually says, send your money here.
But we're not forgetting that sometimes ... this happens.
However, no matter what, wherever the above couple are in their financial life, they have gone farther in time than most and that is worth more than what money can buy. Most of all they're still sitting together and we don't see a cane or a walker. Getting old is to hold the greatest gift of all - living longer and staying healthy while doing it.
A senior was talking to St. Peter inside the Pearly Gates.
Senior: I don't get it. Just when I finally had a full understanding of how Medicare Part D works, poof, just like that - I don't need it anymore.
St. Peter: What happened, you had a catastrophic illness?
Senior: I was outside a grocery store when a group of young hooligans were harassing another senior for money. I intervened.
St. Peter: When did this happen?
Senior: Thirty seconds ago.
(Two copyrighted cartoons won't let me cut and paste them for this blog, so I made up the dialogue above, combining the two jokes in the cartoons into one.)
But seniors persevere, remain hopeful, and full of optimism in the face of societal pressures, but they make sociological adjustments even as their memory begins to dim and are promptly forgiven when they confess to sins they did not commit.
The young may laugh, the old, most of them I hope, can laugh too, hopefully on their way to the bank. Check the data on median of assets by age group at below.
https://wallethacks.com/average-net-worth-by-age-americans/
https://wallethacks.com/average-net-worth-by-age-americans/
Senior living has its perks.
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